But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
