I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
