You just made me feel so damn special
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
