I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
