it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
this boner is exhausting
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
