Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
