I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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