Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
grandma shit on top of the toilet
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
