I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You ruined the universe
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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