dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
this hospital has no fireball
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
