Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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