just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
