we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
