these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
