We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
