Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
