If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
