he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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