Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
