She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this just has baby written all over it
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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