Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
