I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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