I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
