Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
