quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
