Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
