party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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