i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
