My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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