She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize