Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
