My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
