return my video game
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
