is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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