note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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