32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
