Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
