apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
