1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
