he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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