So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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