And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
