just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
