3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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