I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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