he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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