I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
