I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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