They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
