yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we're making bets on your personal life
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
