I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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