Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
